Mommy and I are playing in the living room when I hear Daddy sneeze in the office.

Me: Oh! I think Daddy just “bless you’d.”

Daddy and I are playing pretend games with my car.

Me: I go to Trader Joe’s.

Daddy: Oh, can you get me some ice cream?

Me: Okay, I get ice cream. Stopped at a red light. Waiting for it to turn green. Okay, I’m here! Getting ice cream and yogurt and strawberries and oatmeal. And beer. And wine.

I’m sitting at the kitchen table and want a car to play with. I ask Mommy to get me one.

Mommy: Here you go. A silver Corvette!

Me: That’s not a Corvette. IT’S A CAMARO.

It’s 5am on Sunday morning and I call out from my bed.

Me: Hey Mommy, hey Mommy, hey Mommy, hey Mommy, hey Mommy, hey Mommy, hey Mommy…

Mommy comes into my room. I point to the slight light I can see through my window curtain.

Me: Hey, Mommy, it’s morning!

Mommy: But it’s really early morning. You can still sleep more.

Me: No, I have to get ready for work.

Mommy and Daddy are talking about something boring.

Me: NO TALK! Talk to Dexy.

Mommy: What do you want to talk about?

Me: Talk about Dexy.

I am playing cars with Mommy at the dinner table.

Me: Heart [the pink car from Tayo] needs a new engine. I give her a new engine.

Mommy: Oh, I think she needs a new battery, too.

Me: And she needs wiper fluid. And maybe some oil.

Mommy: You know, I think she may need a new catalytic converter, too.

Me: Oh no! She ran out of money!

It’s late and approaching dinner time.

Me: I’m too tired to eat at the table. Need to eat on the computer. That would be better.

I see the world in “Tayo” colors. At the park, I start looking around…

Me: There’s a Rogi [green] tree. And a Tayo [blue] sky. And a Lani [yellow] light. And a Gani [red] car.

Me: Noooooo!!! Stop taking pictures. Mommy keeps taking pictures.

Mommy: I know, I can’t stop. It’s because I love you.

Me: I am adorable.

I’m sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of oatmeal in front of me.

Mommy: Dex, I want you to do three scoops by yourself.

Me: One scoop.

Mommy: Mmm…how about two scoops?

Me: No. Four scoops.

Mommy: Okay, deal. Four scoops.