Mommy and I are in the waiting room of my pediatrician’s office and another Mommy and her baby are waiting across from us.

Me: I was cuter than that baby.

I am in our living room looking out the window, pretending to be at the airport watching airplanes take off and land.

Mommy: What airlines do you see?

Me: I see JetBlue taking off! And Delta landing! And the Hindenburg crashing!

I am licking a maple syrup lollipop that my feeding therapist, Miss Christine, brought me back from Canada.

Me: This lollipop tastes like tzaziki sauce!

Daddy and I are playing with planes at the kitchen table.

Daddy: You’re so sweet, I want to eat you up.

Me: I’m going to eat Daddy. And then he’ll go in my intestines and he’ll come out as poop.

I am in the living room getting ready for school.

Me: Why is the LEGO man sad?

Daddy: Because he’s being chased by the police. He might go to prison.

Me: I’m sad, too.

Daddy: Why? Are you going to prison?

Me: Maybe school is prison.

Mommy, Daddy, and I are watching election coverage on TV.

Me: Are they talking about planes?

Daddy: No, they’re talking about the election.

Me: Because?

Daddy: Because they’re talking about our next President.

Me: Are they inside a plane?

Daddy: No, they’re in a TV studio.

Me: Because?

Daddy: Because that’s where they wanted to make this show.

Me: Is that an airport outside?

Mommy: Yes, we’ll just call it an airport.

BANATO (noun) \bə-nā-tō\: What I call a LEGO hot dog, because it looks to me like a red banana.

*****

Mommy: Do you like to eat banatos?

Me: Yes. I eat banatos on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

Mommy and I are sitting at the kitchen table.

Me: I think Orville Wright is our neighbor. He lives in 20790.

Me: I want Mommy’s phone. I want to ask Siri a question.

Mommy gives Dexy her iPhone.

Me: No, I don’t want to ask her a question. Maybe Siri sleeping in her apartment.

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Dexy is playing with Legos and doesn’t want to go to bed.

MOMMY

Come on, Dex, it’s bedtime. You have a big

day tomorrow. It’s your first day of school.

DEXY

When is the last day of school?

CUT TO:

INT. CAR – DAY

Mommy just picked Dexy up from his first day of school.

DEXY:

I am so so so so so so so so so so so

(big gasp of air) so so so tired.