Here are some things to know about the family of Hugs (she is both my doll and a baby who lives on Mommies):

Hugs’ dad, Hunger, injured his finger, so he can’t go to his computer typing job anymore.

As a result, Hugs’ mom, Violet, had to start working.

So Hugs got a second mom named Lazy.

A little trivia: Lazy doesn’t need to look both ways before crossing the street. She can tell if there are cars coming using her sense of smell.

At school today, Miss Ann whispered something to Miss Chelle. Most of it was unintelligible until she spelled out the letters…

Miss Ann: P-O-O-P.

Me: (very loudly) Why are you talking about poop?!?!

I just want to keep letting you know more stuff about the world of Mommies:

1. John Adams Washington Hawaii is one of the best goat milk players in Mommies. He plays for Tally Me Bananas. I’ve played for them, as well, along with a guy named Wally Bilock.
2. The Uriah Butler Highway was named after famous actor and goat milk player, Uriah Butler. He is from the town of Finding Nemo.
3. Other worlds near Mommies include: Flowers, Chocolates, and 9EEs.

Here are some more things that all Mommies fans must know before visiting:

1. More worlds you must travel through to get there are Sunriser-O and Nineties.
2. Some cities in Mommies are Seattle, Portland, New York, and Tally Me Bananas.
3. In addition to Mount Mommies, there is also Mt. Zucchini.
4. The Wake Up is a nightly event. A baby named Phoenix wakes up in a house on 68th Avenue. People come from all over to witness this event.
5. They enjoy a sport called Goat Milk.
6. Days are longer on Mommies and it is reflected in its time system. For example, there is a 6:89pm. And in addition to AM and PM, there is also a QM and UM. Months are also longer. For example, there is a December 89th.
7. Cows are funny. Their favorite joke book is called The UA2. Horses prefer the UA5.

Sometimes I write words or numbers backwards. Mommy let me know that one of the things I wrote was going from right to left.

Me: Wellllllll……it’s Hanukkah, sooooo……I wanted to write it like Hebrew.

Mommy is admiring my lovely hair.

Mommy: Where’d you get all this hair???

Me: At Safeway. I went in the door, through the pharmacy, got some Zantac, went north down an aisle, then turned east, and there was the hair.

I’m talking to Mommy and Daddy about what I want to see the next time we visit New York.

Me: I want to go to the Freedom Tower.

Daddy: Okay. How about the Statue of Liberty?

Me: Yeah! And I want to see to Staten Island!

Here are some more things you should know about the (formerly island nation) world of Mommies:

1. Only kids can drink beer.
2. A half-chihuahua, half-Yorkie named Ghiradelli lives there.
3. A baby girl named Hugs lives there with her parents, Violet and Hunger, and her Aunts Mary, Rosie, Q, and W.
4. Mount Mommies is 1,087 meters tall.
5. The suburb I used to live in is called Alexatop.
6. It takes 4 days to travel from Minneapolis to Mommies (which is pretty fast considering you have to travel through 6 big worlds and a bunch of small worlds to get there).
7. Two of the worlds on the way to Mommies are called Daddies and Fife the Onion.

Mommy is at the dentist and I am waiting for her to be done.

Hygienist: Do you want to pick out a toy?

Me: No, I just don’t have time. I’m too busy. And I’m late for karate. It’s in California. I have to take the I-5 to the I-10.

Hygienist: Oh, okay.

Here are some facts about the island nation of Mommies:

1. The President is named George California and the Vice President is named George Obama.
2. Signs for state roads have the profile of Donald Trump’s face.
3. Bathrooms are called teeter totters.
4. The sky is pink-ish purple.
5. There are two suns.
6. Avobadacados are a fruit native to the island. They are round with red skin and are reddish-pink inside. They taste a lot like a nectarine with a hint of orange.